Having good body image…means letting go.
For most people, especially female-identified people, we want good body image, by having a “good” body.
This “good” body has all the “right” numbers (weight/size/height).
This “good” body has the “right” hair, eyes, skin, nails, feet, chest, and even genitals.
This “good” body is strong, flexible, abled, healthy, and perfect.
We wake up each day, clinging to the dream of having this “good” body.
Why wouldn’t we?
“Good” bodies get all the social goodies, right?
“Good” bodies get social, economic, and reproductive power.
“Good” bodies are revered.
“Good” bodies slip, sinewingly (yes, it’s a made up word), past rejection, ridicule, discrimination, and even violence without a thought.
“Good” bodies are loved, not abandoned.
“Good” bodies don’t get revenge, they are revenge.
“Good” bodies can go anywhere, wear anything, and talk to anyone.
“Good” bodies make the person good enough.
“Good” bodies never scar, never stretch, never stink, never wrinkle, never get hairy (here or there), never age, never get sick…do “good” bodies never die?
“Good” bodies are never sad, mad, or scared.
“Good” bodies are madly in love and have the best sex.
“Good” bodies are never down.
For “good” bodies, everything is wonderful.
Who wouldn’t want a “good” body?
Most people do.
Many people spend their whole lives dedicated to acquiring a “good” body in every way that money can buy.
Many people are so fiercely devoted to this pursuit that to suggest otherwise is inconceivable.
What if, despite what every diet program, workout regimen, fitness influencer, commercial, or “healthy lifestyle” coach tells us,…
You and I and everyone will never, ever have a “good” body.
With a lot of money, time, attention, and obsession, can we fly higher into that sun?
But, at what cost?
Is it ever good enough?
Do we ever arrive?
If, after all of that effort, we touch the sun, what does it take to stay there?
Is it a life a body wants to live?
That’s the thing about bodies, they don’t care about being “good.”
Bodies care about being alive.
Bodies care about getting enough to eat.
Bodies care about getting enough rest.
Bodies care about touch and other bodies.
Bodies care about joy and laughter and the richness of life.
Bodies work hard to carry us through life and they just want to be loved by their inhabitants.
Afterall, when we judge, criticize, ridicule, and hold with disdain this and that about our bodies…who is it we’re talking to?
Who receives these harsh, unrelenting words?
It’s our own vulnerable selves, sister.
Deep in the quiet of our bodies lives our own, perfect self, just wanting to be loved exactly as she is without the slightest concern for her body…
And it isn’t the love of others that she seeks.
No, it is the warm, kind, gentle affection of ourselves that we long for most.
You see, good body image isn’t about believing you have a “good” body.
Good body image is about letting go of the dream of all that we imagine a “good” body will give us.
It is a tall order.
Having stared into the sun for so long, we are blind to all that we have been missing.
We have not been able to see that the love we seek is already ours to give.
We have not been able to see that what we truly, deeply long for is acceptance, connection, meaning, and purpose.
The pursuit of a “good” body can look an awful lot like each of those things.
It is not.
Good body image is about letting go.
Good body image is about knowing that the body holds your precious self and it is not your self.
Good body image is about living in connection through your body not because of your body.
Good body image is about a definition of health that includes many ways of practicing well-being, not simply the pursuit of a “good” body.
Good body image is being willing to turn away from that sun and believe that when our eyes adjust, there will be a whole universe of life and love to discover.
All bodies are good bodies. Right now.
What is an anti-diet dietitian?
An anti-diet dietitian is a dietitian, educated and trained, licensed and registered, but without a foundational belief that the primary goal of nutrition counseling is “successful dieting.” Our culture’s deeply held belief that thinness and dieting are “healthy” is not based in science, but instead by the profound influence of diet culture in every aspect of our lives, even, and especially, our doctors’ offices. If you are new to the concept of diet culture, well-known anti-diet dietitian Christy Harrison explains:
“[Diet culture] is Western society’s toxic system of beliefs that: Worships thinness and equates it to health and moral virtue, Promotes weight loss as a means of attaining higher status, Demonizes certain foods while elevating others, And oppresses people who don’t match up with its supposed picture of “health.”
Diet culture can show up in many ways:
- following food rules
- not eating gluten (without having celiac disease)
- not eating after a certain time of day
- completely cutting out sugar
- making fat people pay for two seats on an airplane
- having to track down special clothing stores in order to find your size
- labeling foods “guilt-free” or “sinful.”
It is literally everywhere.
Diet culture results in so many of us disconnecting from our natural biological processes around feeding ourselves and even shames us for having them!
Diet culture plays a large role in the development of eating disorders, body image issues, fatphobia, weight stigma, and size discrimination. It wants all of us to feel “less than” with the goal of enabling those invested in profiting off our insecurities.
So an anti-diet dietitian, then, is one who wants to take part in dismantling diet culture and in helping people heal from disordered eating and body image issues so that they can live their life free of the bondage of dieting and able to thrive in their bodies without having to shrink them.
In essence, an anti-diet dietitian is really an anti-diet culture dietitian. As an anti-diet dietitian, I create a healthcare space for those struggling with eating and the harms of diet culture and dieting to feel safe. The primary goal is to help our clients reconnect with their awareness of their body’s biological signals for food, move past fear of food and various eating behaviors, and cultivate nourishing, healthy behaviors around eating, movement, and well-being without a primary focus on weight. For many people, after years or decades immersed in the beliefs of diet culture, this change can be surprisingly challenging. Anti-diet dietitians are here to help!
Anti-Diet is not Anti-Health
Bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and this is a beautiful, natural thing. There is a large body of research that has shown that body size is not a valid indicator of health. There is a social justice movement called Health At Every Size (HAES) that advocates that we can pursue health without a focus on weight. It’s principles include eating enough nourishing foods, respecting all bodies, moving in ways that feel good, body autonomy, and creating a life-enhancing support system.
However, often the primary goal of dieting is to change body shape, size, or composition, (often in order to improve health). But, we know that dieting does NOT improve health. In fact, it does just the opposite. Dieting causes harm. Serious harm. (Think trauma and eating disorders). And, it doesn’t even DO what it says it’s going to do—shrink bodies. Most people who diet end up regaining the majority of their weight and often even more weight. In other words, dieting is unethical, and so no healthcare practitioner should be recommending weight loss to ANYONE under ANY circumstances. It’s just wrong.
The Anti-Diet Approach (Intuitive Eating)
Moving away from diets works in the long term to create lifelong self-care nourishment. Listening to the body’s cues for what and how much to eat is better for health and well-being than following any kind of eating plan. Science consistently shows that people who eat according to their body’s own wisdom, also known as Intuitive Eating, have better health outcomes. Only you know what your body needs in any given moment; a dietitian can’t possibly know that for anyone.
But what about nutrition?
Gentle nutrition is still a part of what anti-diet dietitians help clients with; it’s just without the lens of weight loss/body manipulation/restrictive eating/dieting. This treatment can also be referred to as Medical Nutrition Therapy (MNT), which is evidence-based nutrition counseling for real medical conditions such as diabetes, heart disease, kidney disease, celiac disease, GI issues, and others). It incorporates nutrition science without a weight loss approach.
MNT is different than putting someone on a diet. For example, it’s helping a client with celiac disease learn how to read nutrition labels for products that contain gluten, or helping a patient with diabetes to understand how their body metabolizes carbohydrates, or helping a client with heart disease incorporate more heart-healthy fats into their diet if they want to. Anti-diet dietitians still do provide this treatment as appropriate, but using the lens of weight-inclusive care, without diet culture’s harmful influences.
What Anti-Diet Dietitians WILL and WON’T Do
Anti- diet dietitians won’t ask their clients to get on a scale (unless a client is in eating disorder recovery and weight restoration is necessary) or count calories, or portion out/weigh their foods, or track their food intake for purposes of “staying on track.”
They will respect their clients as the experts on their own bodies, helping them to tune in (rather than out) to what their bodies are telling them, and they will provide specific nutrition education and therapy as appropriate, when the client is ready and willing to experiment with positive health behaviors.
It is a collaborative, client-centered, truly holistic approach that does not require body manipulation or shrinkage.
Katrina Seidman, MS, RDN, LDN
You already know that eating together as a family is a good idea. Most people hope to share happy mealtimes with their children and build memories together. Research also shows that there are many benefits to eating together:
Yet, today it can feel harder than ever to get everyone around the table, phones/tablets down, at the same time. Then, mealtime can become a battle of the tastes with everyone expecting foods that they like and will eat. But, with a little creative planning, mealtime can go more smoothly for everyone, whether it’s a group of ten or two, family meal time can be enjoyable.
You might be wondering: What should I make? When can I get to the store? What should I do with all the leftovers?
To help you on your way, I have put together six straightforward strategies that you can try, no matter what size your family and how crazy your schedule might be.
- Keep it simple: Do what works. This might be breakfast for dinner, peanut butter and jelly, or a store-bought rotisserie chicken. Recently, the idea of snack trays has become an easy, popular dinner idea. Create a big tray of veggies, fruits, nuts, precooked meats, cut up cheese, and dips to create a tapas style experience. Know that it doesn’t have to be an elaborate or even a cooked meal. Smoothies and sandwiches are totally okay, too. As are eggs and toast!
- For some no-brainer structure, try theme nights. Think meatless Mondays, taco Tuesdays, kids cook night (Raddish is a cooking club for kids raddishkids.com), Mediterranean, Asian, create your own/bar style options: pasta or baked potato bars, nacho bar, and even breakfast for dinner night
- Something for everyone: For kids/not yet adventurous eaters, try to pair the unfamiliar with the familiar. For example, if you are making your favorite coconut curry but worry that the kids won’t touch it, serve their favorite fruit and have bread and butter on the table so they will be able to find something to fill up on, while being exposed to the other flavors. You never know when they might be ready to try it. Conversely, when serving the kids’ favorite entrée, ie. Spaghetti or chicken nuggets the adults may appreciate special flavor additions such as crushed red pepper or fun dipping sauces like zhoug, sriracha, or tahini.
- Cook once eat twice. Batch cook pasta, rice, other grains when you do have more time, and freezing them for future time-limited evenings. When making entrees in the instant pot or slow cooker, double it and freeze for a delicious home cooked meal next month.
- There are apps for that! Apps such as Paprika and Wanderlist (or simply the note section on your phone) can help with scheduling, making grocery lists, and keeping everything organized.
- Lastly, be flexible! Even though you may have thoughtfully planned the night’s dinner, sometimes it doesn’t always work out whether there’s a traffic jam or mom is feeling sick. In these instances, it’s helpful to have a backup plan such as steam able veggies in the bag or bagged salad kits and frozen precooked brown rice or other grain. Pair these with a can of beans or canned salmon or tuna and a yummy premade sauce such as pesto or Thai peanut and it’s a meal in less than 10 minutes. Or, just order a pizza and place the fruit basket on the table and call it a day!
Here’s last weeks‘ mealplan for my family of five:
Monday: leftover frozen baked ziti, salad, fruit
Tuesday: shrimp tacos (make your own) with all the fixins + rugala (Jewish cookies)
Wednesday: grilled balsamic chicken (pre-made from store) with air fried tater tots and baby cauliflower
Thursday: leftover frozen pizza, cut up veggies with dip
Friday: date night! Kids have pizza again! Oh well, it works!
Saturday: French Onion Soup and baked potatoes, salad, and fruit
Sunday: Veggie chili cornbread muffins, salad
Katrina Seidman, MS RDN LDN
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